"Maybe Next Time I'll Walk" "the Impashi" and "Just call me Steve"

Ok. first things first. The Pirates are .500. The Pittsburgh Pirates, owners of 14 consecutive losing seasons are 10-10 at (very close to) the end of April. This isn't like me being excited when they started 2-0. This is a full of month of average (which is pretty stellar in the land of pittsburgh baseball) performance and yet another harbinger that this is indeed the year when we win 82 games. Glory glory glory. Part of me wonders if they knew i was coming to the internet and so they won those 4 straight games just for me, but the other part doesn't care. i love it no matter what... Go Buccos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, i noticed that yesterday i was so concerned with telling you all about my different cultural problems and nostalgic remembrances that i completely forgot to convey the anecdotes for the first month of village life! How terrible of me. An update without anecdotes is like a trip to the ocean without body surfing. I, just like CNN, am vulnerable to the age old trap of only reporting the bad news, because that is first on everyone's mind. I guess these anecdotes could be considered not great news... but i hope they will at least elicit a chuckle or two from the audience.

1) "Maybe next time I'll walk"
ahh... the trip from the village to the BOMA. I was super excited about coming here to Mkushi and so i had little trouble waking up at 4am in order to make it to the market in time for the transport leaving. Transport generally leaves with the sunrise, so there is no exact time for when it takes off. So I woke up without problem. My bread which was to be my breakfast was covered in mold, but my dog Daisy wasn't going to get fed for a day or so while i was away, so that didn't bother me too much and i just gave it to her. The walk through the 6 km of woodlands in the pitch dark (for much of it) was the first slightly uncomfortable experience. I had only my head lamp and i kept hearing things (probably just lizards, but small velociraptors in my imagination) moving through the bush. Then my headlamp would occasionally flicker and catch the glare of some creature in the forest looking at me. yikes. But the sun started to rise when i was about 1km away and with it so did my spirits.

I arrived at the market at about 5:45am. There was a minibus waiting for me there and i was excited. After I woke the driver (ha) him and the conductor started getting everything ready and i was hopeful for a quick departure. In the meantime 2 other vehicles had arrived and moved on, after the conductor of the minibus informed them in no uncertain terms that i was traveling with them. I didn't mind this much at first, because i was assuming we were leaving soon. But instead we proceeded to sit around doing nothing in particular for about 45 minutes. I am mostly keeping my zen at this point until we are about to leave and the driver announces that he just decided he needed to change the front tire! after we had been sitting twiddling our thumbs for about 40 minutes, NOW he notices that the tire needs changed. So he does that (and faster than any Triple A driver ever could... i have a feeling he has a lot of practice) and we move on our way. Great! except that we stop every 5-15 minutes at some tiny market or another to pick up ground nuts or empty coke bottles or more passengers and each and every time we stay and chat with whomever is around for an extra 20 minutes. At this time the minibus is packed full. There are 3 other people with me on our 2 person seat and my foot area is taken by a 50kg bag of ground nuts. fantastic. This continues on until I finally come to my stop in Mpula, 3.5 hours covering 1 hour worth of distance. As I am getting off, another minibus is pulling up to take me to Mkushi! cheers and jubilation's!! except that minibus is determined to make the entire trip at 55kph, roughly half the speed of all other traffic. At one point the driver pulled over onto the side of the road and took off his button down shirt and jeans to reveal a different complete outfit underneath. More stopping. more chatting. More gnashing of my teeth. Then finally finally we come to the mkushi turn off and as he stops i am leaping out the window (easier than crawling over the 4 people b/n me and the door.) and running towards the turn off, where i got a ride into mkushi in a car that had run out of gas, but that was coasting very effectively down the gentle slope towards town. I arrived at 11:30. Distance traveled: 80km. Time of travel: 7 hours and change... yikes.

Ahhh... I really want to tell you about the impashi (the fire ants of africa) and how then invaded my house one night and i spent an hour in flip flops, boxers and a headlamp sweeping the godforsaken ants out of my house. I also want to tell you about my second day at the village when i went exploring for the path to my mountain and i found a crocodile instead. A small one... but still a crocodile. (the "steve" in the subject was referring to the late great steve irwin.) But again there is a really long line behind me and i just can't get over the feelings of guilt and i need to let some one else use the computer. I will stop by as i am heading out to get my ride, and perhaps try to tell another story.

But i just wanted you to know, that even though i whine about cultural issues there is so much more good than bad and i am happy where i am.

please write and i love love love you all...

p.s. i now know how to jump start a vehicle... about 1/2 of the vehicles i travel in make use of this method of ignition... what wonderful knowledge to have :)